Acceptance, Healing and Rebuilding after Grief and Loss

01 January 2023

Acceptance, Healing and Rebuilding after Grief and Loss

Acceptance and Moving on After Grief and Loss

Acceptance, Healing and Rebuilding after Grief and Loss : Image Copyright Vernon Chalmers

“The reality is that you will grieve forever. You will not ‘get over’ the loss of a loved one; you will learn to live with it. You will heal and you will rebuild yourself around the loss you have suffered. You will be whole again but you will never be the same. Nor should you be the same nor would you want to.” — Elisabeth Kübler-Ross and David Kessler

This quote by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross and David Kessler are having a significant impact on my understanding and processing of grief and loss during the last 18 months.

A Perspective on Closure

I use many quotes on my Mental Health and Motivation website, all of them are special, but this quote gave me real perspective and closure.

I respect the fact that different people will interpret the same quote differently, for different losses. I have read the Elisabeth Kübler-Ross and David Kessler quote 6 months after publishing my “A Year After Leaving an Abusive and Toxic Relationship' and in total 18 months after I walked away from what I considered (at the time) of what would of been the rest of my life.

I have integrated their quote as an update / conclusion 6 months after my original article. The timing for a complete understanding of their words came absolutely at the right time.

Hopefully some of you may also find comfort in their words should there be such need.

Herewith my conclusion of the Achievements / Lessons from an Abusive Relationship article:

Acceptance, healing and rebuilding
What made the acceptance so much more sustainable was the realisation that the grief of losing someone special does not have to go away. What did go away eventually was my fear of letting go. This quote by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross and David Kessler provided me with the necessary perspective and solace for moving on - “The reality is that you will grieve forever. You will not ‘get over’ the loss of a loved one; you will learn to live with it. You will heal and you will rebuild yourself around the loss you have suffered. You will be whole again but you will never be the same. Nor should you be the same nor would you want to.”

Having accepted the undercurrent ebb and flow presence of this grief I find myself thinking less and less of this horrific period and person. The ever-consuming dark thoughts of grief (and loss) made way for more coherent thinking and mindful living of being in the moment - focussing on the daily awareness of the here and now... It took time, introspection, reflection and soul searching to finally arrive at the other side of this profound and self-enriching journey.

Additional Information: Acceptance, Healing and Rebuilding after Grief and Loss

"Experiencing grief and loss can be an incredibly challenging and painful journey. It's important to recognize that the process of acceptance, healing, and rebuilding is unique to each individual. However, there are some general steps and strategies that can help facilitate this process. Here are some suggestions:

1. Allow yourself to grieve: Give yourself permission to experience the emotions that come with grief. It's natural to feel sadness, anger, guilt, or confusion. Suppressing these emotions can hinder the healing process, so allow yourself to feel them fully.

2. Seek support: Surround yourself with a supportive network of family, friends, or a grief support group. Talking to others who have experienced similar losses can provide comfort and understanding. Consider reaching out to a therapist or counselor who specializes in grief counseling as well.

3. Practice self-care: Take care of your physical, emotional, and mental well-being. Make sure to eat nutritious meals, exercise regularly, and get enough rest. Engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation, such as hobbies or spending time in nature. Self-care is crucial during this challenging time.

4. Be patient with yourself: Healing takes time, and there is no set timeline for grieving. Avoid comparing your progress to others or putting pressure on yourself to "get over" your loss. Allow yourself to move through the process at your own pace and be patient with the ups and downs.

5. Honor your loved one: Find meaningful ways to remember and honor the person you have lost. You could create a memory box, write a letter, or participate in activities that held significance for both of you. Celebrate their life and the positive impact they had on you and others.

6. Seek professional help if needed: If your grief becomes overwhelming or starts to interfere with your daily functioning, it may be beneficial to seek professional help. A therapist or counselor can provide guidance and support tailored to your specific needs.

7. Consider joining a support group: Connecting with others who have experienced similar losses can provide a sense of understanding and belonging. Support groups offer a safe space to share your feelings, gain insights, and learn coping strategies from others who have gone through similar experiences.

8. Embrace self-compassion: Be gentle with yourself throughout the healing process. It's normal to have good and bad days, and it's okay to feel a wide range of emotions. Treat yourself with kindness, compassion, and understanding as you navigate your journey of acceptance and healing.

Remember, healing from grief is a personal journey, and it's important to give yourself permission to experience the process in your own way. While the pain may never completely go away, with time and support, you can find acceptance, heal, and rebuild a fulfilling life." (Source: Chat GPT 2023)

Grief and Loss Resources

My Thoughts on Love, Loss and Grief

Mental Health Quotes by Vernon Chalmers

Grieving the Loss of my Friend, Joseph Inn